


Transcending Universes

by Napoleonic Power Monger (Rynegade)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: AU, Angst, F/F, Post Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-06 13:07:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4222812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rynegade/pseuds/Napoleonic%20Power%20Monger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unscheduled incoming traveler activates the stargate and from the moment the first form is thrown through the event horizon of the wormhole, life at Cheyenne Mountain is never the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> napoleonicpowerqueen is fantastic and had the incredible idea to collaborate on this plot idea, which was too amazing for me to pass up. I write as Sam Carter and the female OC(s), while she writes as Janet and Cassie Fraiser, taking turns to alternate chapters. It's all very much unbeta'd but we thought we'd go ahead and post it since it's promising to be such a long story.

A quiet ping from the computer, signaling the completion of a diagnostic program, draws her eyes to the screen. Turning in her chair, Samantha Carter sighs softly and runs the program again; the computers at the Mountain haven’t wanted to work correctly today and the blonde is getting frustrated with her inability to track down the glitch. She’s sitting in the control room of the SGC, hunched over one console as Walter works at the other, and neither of them seem to be having any luck. As if reading her mind, Walter turns to look at her.

“Colonel, I’m not sure what’s going on but I’ve found nothing. Any luck there?”

Sam shakes her head and is ready to express her intense frustration with the computer systems - and the need to update the base’s technology - when the klaxons sound and the stargate, silent and still until now, both jump to life. After a moment of startled staring, Walter and Sam spring into action; he closes the iris and she calls out the unscheduled traveler over the intercom.

“What’s going on?” Hammond comes up behind Sam and stares at the stargate with a frown, “We don’t have any teams coming back until tomorrow.”

“I’m not sure, sir. There’s an IDC code coming through but I don’t recognize it,” Walter says. Sam shakes her head vehemently as she stares at the computer screen and stands abruptly, her eyes wide.

“Open the iris,” she says sharply, turning wide eyes to Hammond. “That’s my Academy student ID number. Only two people would possibly know that number, sir. My dad and my-”

Her voice trails off but she can tell from the look on Hammond’s face that he understands what she’s left unspoken. He stares at her intently for a long moment and then nods at Walter.

“Open the iris.”

Sam turns slowly to face the gateroom, her heart racing as she watches the iris retract and the shimmering of the event horizon come into view. Her heart is in her throat and she’s fairly certain she’s about to pass out when the sound of Jack and Daniel bickering catches her attention.

“I told you, Daniel, it’s because I don’t want to.”

“I think you’re _scared_ , Jack. You can’t fool me.”

“Oh please, think about who you’re talking to. I’m not scared of anything.”

“Except spiders.”

“It’s not that they scare me, it’s that I don’t like their legs.”

“All eight of them?”

“Shut up, Daniel.”

The two come around the corner and stop at the sight of Sam staring intently into the gateroom. She gives them a terse nod and Daniel’s the first to speak.

“Uh, what’s going on, guys?”

“There’s an unscheduled incoming traveler,” Jack says, making Daniel splutter. “Geez Daniel, can’t you hear?”

Sam’s focused on the gateroom again as the first hint of the incoming traveler ripples the event horizon and suddenly, from nearly halfway up the gate, a form is thrown into the gateroom. The dress, the crown, the smug look despite being tossed around like a rag doll - Sam growls at the sight of the goa’uld queen lying on the ramp and turns on her heel. Exiting the control room, she storms down the stairs and around the corner just as the SFs flood the gateroom in front of her. Snagging a P90 from the SF nearest her, she clicks off the safety and takes aim, the growl building in her throat again as she gets the goa’uld in the proverbial crosshairs and plants herself at the bottom of the ramp.

“Who are you and what the hell are you doing here?” she snarls. The goa’uld looks up at her and gasps - a ridiculous sound if Sam’s ever heard one - but just as the creature goes to speak, the event horizon ripples again and another form is thrown from the wormhole. When Sam sees Charles Kawalksy staring up at her in shock, she lowers her gun a fraction and frowns.

“But you’re - “

“Hold your fire!”  Hammond barks from the control room and the motion of reengaging the safety of her P90 is instinctual; Sam’s got her weapon lowered before she realizes it. She’s still staring at Kawalsky in complete and utter confusion when the wormhole ripples once again and a third figure is deposited gracelessly on the ramp. When Sam sees the familiar shape land, her entire body freezes and she’s suddenly convinced she’s about to do a very un-Carter-like thing and faint right there in the gateroom. Blinking rapidly against the onslaught of emotion, Sam can’t think anything past ‘Janet’.

She’s got a lot of regrets in her life but the biggest one, the regret she lives with every day and knows she’ll carry until the day she dies, is that she couldn’t save Janet Fraiser. Janet died on that planet - killed in action during a firefight - and the fact that Sam was unable to save her wife is the biggest regret of her life. She couldn’t save her and for the last five years, Cassie’s missed her mother and Sam’s missed the other half of her soul.

But now Sam’s standing in the gateroom at the bottom of the ramp and she can’t quite understand the hows or whys but she’s staring into Janet’s shocked brown eyes. She vaguely remembers the policy and procedure of the gate but before she can speak, the petite brunette on the ramp leaps into action and yells at the control room, “Close the iris!”

She’s not sure what’s fueling her at the moment, though she’s pretty sure she’s in shock, but she looks between the three newest arrivals and shakes her head. Hammond’s apparently given his approval because the iris slides shut; the clink of the metal echoes through Sam’s brain and snaps her out of the haze she’s in. She’s ready to lift her gun on the goa’uld again when Janet stands and pulls the parasitic bitch behind her, shielding her from Sam. The blonde stops and frowns, tilting her head as she finally loses her cool.

“What the fuck is going on here?!”


	2. Chapter 2

She has a hard time comprehending what's going on at first when she first lands on the other side of the Stargate, her landing anything but graceful.

She had been the last one through the stargate, unable to tear her eyes away from the sight of her wife in the control room, about to make the ultimate sacrifice. Her eyes begin to tear up as she sees, rather than hears her wife yell at her to go. There's a flash of light that fills up the control room as Janet Fraiser throws herself through the Stargate.

There's a loud "oomph" as her petite body hits the ground, looking around as soon as she stops rolling and finding the person she's looking for, relief flooding her body as she sees the other woman. That's when she notices the SFs all around her, her confusion mounting as she realizes exactly where they are- and it's not the beta site like anticipated. "Close the iris!" she yells, hoping and praying that they trust her enough to do as she says.

That's when she finally takes a moment to actually look at the woman standing in front of her, feeling tears prick at her eyes. _No_ , she thinks, _you're dead. I just left you to your death_.

But the look in Sam's eyes is not a look she's used to seeing- there's shock there, sure, but there's also distrust and anger. Janet instinctively moves to stand in front of the other woman, a hand reaching back and a soft smile playing on her lips as she feels her daughter's hand slip into her's. She's not exactly sure where they are, but she has her daughter, Kawalsky, and.... And some version of the woman whom she loves. They would surely figure this out.

The doctor cringes a little at Sam's language, knowing that word only comes out on special occasions. "Sam..." She says softly, unable to help herself.

"Well I don't know about you fellas, but hell if I know what the fuck is going on!" chirps Kawalsky from behind her, and she's grateful that he's broken the proverbial ice. "But if she," he continues, pointing at Sam, "is half as smart as the Sam we," he gestures at himself, Janet, and her daughter, " know, she'll probably figure it out. Whatever it is...."

Janet notices how everyone is staring at her daughter, particularly Sam, with great suspicion. Looking at her daughter, she now realizes why: she's still dressed in her undercover garb, looking very much like the goa'uld queen she had been pretending to be for almost a year. They had had to evacuate so quickly that there hadn't been time for her to change once they had been able to yank her from her operation.

"Well until we figure out what "it" is, I suggest that you allow yourselves to be escorted for interrogation," says Hammond brusquely. All three nod, knowing better than to try to resist.

They follow the general, Sam, and some SFs down the eerily familiar, but similarly unfamiliar hallway and Janet can feel her daughter inching closer to her as they walk. "Mom?" She questions quietly. "It's going to be ok sweetie," Janet replies, squeezing her daughter's hand. "We're going to be just fine."  She notices a look of shock on Sam's face as she looks over her shoulder at them, clearly having overheard their exchange.

Kawalsky is lead into the first interrogation room, and Hammond nods to Daniel, who along with Jack had left the control room and followed them down the hallway, to oversee Kawalsky's interrogation.

"Sir if I may-"

"You may not Colonel. I know what you're going to ask, but you are simply too personally involved in this to interrogate her. O'Neill please take this young lady into room two. Doctor? Into room three please," replies Hammond, ushering everyone into their respective rooms, leaving Samantha Carter in the hallway alone to process what she had just witnessed.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Settling herself into a hard metal chair on one side of the metal table, Alexandra Carter-Fraiser finds herself staring at a suspicious version of the man she grew up looking at as a grandfather. George Hammond has always been the person Alex thinks of first when she finds herself in trouble and needs help getting out of a tight spot but the way he’s looking at her now, with distrust in his wise eyes, makes her uncomfortable.

‘ _You would be uncomfortable too._ ’

‘ _Now’s_ really _not a good time._ ’

“So, young lady, what’s your name?”

Alex stares at Hammond and takes a deep breath, trying to remember what Mama would tell her to do in this situation; would her Sam tell her to trust this Hammond or not? Alex has no idea what to do, though, because she’s never been through anything like this. But before she can even formulate the words to speak, her head dips forward and the voice that issues from her is deep and resonant, clearly the voice of a symbiote.

“I am Jalesh.”

‘ _FUCK, I SAID NOW ISN’T A GOOD TIME._ ’

‘ _Be quiet and let me take care of this_.’

‘ _You’re gonna get us shot, Jalesh_!’

Hammond’s up and away from the table fast enough that Alex would be impressed if she isn’t so sure she’s about to be shot. Jalesh lifts a hand slowly, trying to motion at Hammond to calm himself, but the action earns them a gun in the face and Alex is impressed that he’s produced a Glock out of seemingly thin air.

‘ _Oh my god, I’m going to die at the hands of my pseudo-grandfather because you can’t listen and let me try to handle things_.’

“No!” Alex manages to force Jalesh back and when she speaks this time, her voice is her own. “Please, I mean no harm. I’m Alexandra Carter-Fraiser.”

Hammond’s eyebrows climb his forehead and the gun he’s produced from behind his back slowly lowers. “Carter-Fraiser?”

“Yeah,” Alex says, nodding hurriedly. “Sam Carter and Janet Fraiser, they’re my moms. I’m Alex and it’s a really long story about why but I have a Tok’ra symbiote named Jalesh.”

‘ _This is the last time I let you take the lead on being interrogated_.’

‘ _Jalesh, we almost ate a bullet because you have a flair for the dramatic. Don’t talk to me_.’

“Your parents are Samantha Carter and Janet Fraiser?” Hammond asks and it’s all Alex can do to keep Jalesh from taking over and coming back with a snarky, ‘ _THAT Is WHAT SHE JUST SAID, HAMMOND OF TEXAS_.’

“Yeah,” she replies, chewing on her lip nervously. “The goa’uld took over Earth and _my_ Sam Carter was supposed to send us to the beta site but we wound up here. She said she was gonna blow the Mountain to keep the goa’uld from gaining control. She told Kawalsky to make sure me and Mom made it and that he was responsible for keeping us safe, and then she told Mom to use her old Academy numbers so that the other side would know . . .”

Alex stops as she realizes that their arrival at this SGC, this weird and alternate SGC, wasn’t a mistake. They were meant to make it here because her mother knew she wasn’t going to make it and she wanted them taken care of in a place where the goa’uld weren’t in control.

“Alright, okay,” Hammond says when tears suddenly flood the young woman’s eyes. Before he says anything else, Alex’s head dips and Jalesh is in control again.

“I apologize for my thoughtlessness,” she says. “I did not stop to think of the concern a symbiote would cause you.”

“That’s quite alright,” he replies, though his brow is furrowed. “How can I be sure that what you’re both telling me is the truth? I won’t put my planet at risk just because you say you’re not a threat.”

“I am uncertain how to prove to you that we mean no harm. I understand how my appearance and current attire would cause concern but I assure the answer is simple. Alexandra was undercover as a goa’uld queen at the insistence of the Tok’ra High Council. In favor of keeping the Tok’ra-Tau’ri alliance in good standing, Alexandra agreed and convinced her parents that this was for the best.”

“And how did she come to be inhabited by a Tok’ra symbiote?” Hammond still looks skeptical and Jalesh is impressed by his insistence on having all the facts, though this is one she’s just not willing to share without Alexandra’s express permission.

“That is for Alexandra and Doctor Fraiser to explain,” Jalesh says with a shrug. “It is not my place to tell.”

“You have to understand,” Hammond says, “that I really have no way of being sure any of this is true.”

“Doctor Fraiser and Major Kawalsky will both corroborate our stories. And if you still need assurance, Selmak will know of my existence.”

Hammond stands and runs a hand over his head before looking back at Jalesh and saying, “You’ll stay here until I’m satisfied that you pose no threat to us. I’m going to corroborate your stories.”

When he opens the door, Jalesh sees the Samantha Carter of this universe standing in the hallway looking lost, a phone to her ear and a frown on her face. She’s speaking rapidly and Jalesh is just able to make out a name - Cassie, it sounds like - before Hammond shuts the door behind himself.

‘ _Are you alright, Alexandra_?’

‘ _My mother knew she was sending us somewhere else. That’s why she was so concerned with the solar flares today_.’

‘ _It does appear that way. I am very sorry for your loss_.’

‘ _Thanks for taking over but I’m still telling Mom you almost made Grandpa George to shoot us_.’

 


	4. Chapter 4

She's bored. It's summer, she just graduated from UCLA, and she's home in Colorado with her mom for the summer, trying to figure out what to do next with her shiny new degree. So far her options have been slim. Feeling her phone buzz, she absently hits the green accept button. "Hey Mama."

“Hey Cass, are you busy?”

Cassandra furrows her brow. Her mama knows she's literally doing nothing while she's home for the summer. "Noooooo..... What's up?"

“Well, uh . . . Can you come to the base? You need to be here.”

Those are the kinds of words that make Cassie's heart pound and her stomach turn around. Those are the kinds of words her Mama said when....

"Mama? What's going on?" She asks, trying the quell the uneasy feeling in her stomach.

“It’s nothing bad, baby, I just need you to come to the base. I’ve got two airmen on their way to get you, okay? They should be there any minute.”

Cassie is still frowning, unconvinced by the tone of her Mama's voice. "Ok Mama I'll be there soon. I love you."

“I love you too, sweetheart. Try not to worry, I’ll meet you topside.”

Cassie ends the call before staring down at her phone for a moment, wondering what on earth was going on at the mountain that has her mama so shaken up. As promised, there is a knock on the door moments later, and Cassie is escorted to the car. She sits in the backseat nervously playing with her phone. She knows it's pointless asking the airmen if they knew what is going on- they probably didn't and even if they did, it's not like they would tell her.

The ride to the mountain is a mercifully short one, and Cassie gets out of the car and is escorted into the mountain. Her mama is waiting for her on the elevator.

“Hey sweetheart, sorry to scare you like that but you really need to be here for this.”

"I wouldn't have to be worried if you would just tell me what _this_ is!"

“Trust me, _this_ isn’t something I could ever hope of explaining over the phone.”

Cassie scoffs as they reach the desired level and get off the elevator, walking towards the interrogation rooms.

"Seriously? You've been here for over ten years. What could have possibly emerged from that old gate that's got you this tongue tied?"

Sam raises her eyebrows before silently opening the door to one of the observation rooms. Cassie walks in, but stops short when she sees who exactly is being interrogated.

"Mom?" She barely whispers, hardly daring to believe what she's seeing.

"See why I needed you to see it for yourself?" Sam asks, sitting down in front of the glass and patting the seat next to her.

Cassie slowly moves to the chair and disgracefully flops down into it, more focused on the brunette on the other side of the glass than anything.

"How...?"

Sam shrugs. "We know that alternate universes exist, so in the grand scheme of things it's not that shocking... Just surprising."

"Tell me about it," mutters Cassie, never once taking her eyes off of the woman who looks exactly like her mom. "She came through alone?"

Sam sighs, "I was afraid you were going to ask that. She came through with others- an officer named Kawalski who died before you ever came to Earth... And someone else."

Cassie doesn't even need words, giving her mama a look that clearly says "well??"

"Come on, you're gonna wanna see this one too," Sam says, motioning to the door and taking her to the next observation room. The moment she's in the observation room, Cassie tenses, looking back at Sam. "She's a goa'uld," she says, the concern written all over her face.

"That's not the interesting part. She says she's.... Well, mine and Janet's daughter."

Cassie instantly frowns. "She's a goa'uld," she repeats, her eyes going steely. She doesn't want to stay in here. She doesn't like this woman.  Turning she leaves and returns to the room where Janet is being interviewed, sinking down into the chair again as she listens to a voice she thought she would never hear again. "It's not Mom," she whispers finally, looking at Sam with tears in her eyes, "it just looks like her."

Sam sighs, leaning back in her chair and running her hand through her hair, which was getting long. "It's nice to just pretend for a moment though, isn't it?" She replies just as softly, her eyes trained on the doctor.  

"Yeah, yeah it is, Mama."


	5. Chapter 5

When she sees Cassie’s resigned acceptance of the situation, Sam feels anger bubbling in her gut. No child, no matter how old, should ever have to feel this way, should have to experience this sort of sick joke. Feeling her patience snap at the sight of her daughter’s sadness, Sam stands and presses a quick kiss to the top of the young woman’s head before storming to the door of the observation room.

“Where are you going?”

Sam stops at Cassie’s question, her hand on the doorknob as she takes a calming breath and turns to look at her daughter. “I’ll be right back, Cass. I’m going to talk to the goa’uld.”

When she approaches the interrogation room door, the SFs shift nervously and glance at each other before one shakes his head and says, “I’m sorry, Colonel, I can’t let you in.”

“I’m giving you an order, airman. Move aside.”

“I’m sorry ma’am, General Hammond said-”

“I don’t care what General Hammond said,” Sam snaps, glowering. “Go inform him that I’m countermanding his orders if you must but I’m going in there. Now _step aside_.”

The young man does as he’s told, sliding over a bit so Sam can open the door and slip in. When she sees the young woman sitting at the table, her anger boils again; the remnants of Jolinar in her brain alert her that the woman in front of her does indeed have a symbiote.

“Who the hell are you?”

To her credit, the young woman doesn’t look intimidated and her voice, deep and resonant, is strong when she replies, “I am Jalesh of Malkshur.”

“Malkshur.” That pulls Sam up short, her eyes narrowing as she crosses her arms and leans back against the wall, trying not to cross the room and throttle the smug goa’uld. “That’s convenient.”

“I fought alongside Jolinar at Malkshur,” Jalesh replies calmly. “We fought for freedom against Cronus and lead our followers to their freedom.”

Sam shifts quickly through Jolinar’s memories and stops at the flash of a face, someone Jolinar cared deeply for and remembered fondly. Her eyes narrow a little more as she inhales and exhales deliberately, moving her hands to rest behind her back. She studies the other woman, noting with some curiosity that she looks strikingly similar to the photographs she has of herself as a young woman in her early twenties, though the brown eyes - those bring to mind her dead wife.

“I don’t believe you,” she says, finally moving to sit in the chair across from the goa’uld. “I think this is a joke, a cruel hoax that you’re perpetuating in an attempt to gain access to Earth. I think you’re a goa’uld trying to gain access to the base.”

“I can assure you it is not,” Jalesh says and her head dips. When it lifts again, the brown eyes are filled with tears and her lip is gripped between her teeth. “Please, you have to believe us,”

Sam stares at the young woman who’s suddenly so unlike the smug parasitic bitch she was just talking to and it catches her off-guard. The young woman - Alex, Sam thinks her name is - swipes at her eyes furiously and tries to take a deep breath but before she can speak, the door opens and Hammond is there looking incredibly pissed off.

‘ _Shit_ ,’ Sam thinks, grimacing internally.

“What the hell are you doing in here, Colonel?” Hammond barks and Sam fights to maintain eye contact with the young woman across the table and not slink out of the room with her tail between her legs.

“This isn’t over yet.” Leaning over, she speaks quietly to Alex and then stands, turning sharply to face Hammond. “I was speaking to the prisoner.”

“She’s not a prisoner,” Hammond says, his face ruddy with anger. “Her story’s been corroborated by the other two guests and Selmak is on his way to confirm the Tok’ra’s information. He was extremely insistent on coming when I informed him of the situation. I’d like to see you in my office now.”

Sam’s brow furrows and she looks down at the young woman who’s glancing between them with what looks like hope on her face. When Hammond informs her that the SFs outside the door will take her and the other two new arrivals to quarters until Selmak arrives, Sam sees relief play clearly across her face. She still doesn’t quite understand what the hell is going on but if Hammond believes them . . .

‘ _Shit_.’

* * *

 

“You were completely out of line, Colonel! I gave you an order and you blatantly disregarded it to do as you wish, which further traumatized a young woman who just lost her mother!”

Sam stands at attention in front of Hammond’s desk as he lays into her, her spine rigid and her eyes straight ahead. She wants nothing more than to melt into the ground - being reprimanded is never fun and she can count on one hand the times she’s actually deserved rebuke - but she stands and takes the anger. When Hammond finally stops yelling and drops into his chair, Sam ventures a glance at him.

“Permission to speak, sir?”

“Granted,” Hammond sighs.

“I don’t believe them. Of course their stories all match, they came through together and had time to plan. This is a ploy, General, it has to be.”

“Damn it, Colonel, I don’t want to hear this again,” Hammond snaps, lifting a hand. Sam slams her mouth shut and stares at him, shaking her head slowly as he continues. “They’re being given quarters until your father arrives. Jacob and Selmak both insisted. I know this hurts, Sam, I can only imagine what you’re going through, but this is my final say. They’re here and they’re not leaving.”

“Then let me talk to Fraiser,” Sam says, pointedly ignoring Hammond’s attempt at sympathy. “Let me talk to her and try to prove to you that this is a trick.”

“You may talk to her but not one word about this being a trick, Colonel.”

“Yes sir,” Sam grinds out. Turning on her heel, she leaves his office and makes her way to the interrogation room that houses the woman who looks like her wife. Taking a deep breath, she motions to the SFs and enters the room, her eyes drawn to the petite form immediately.

“I would say welcome to the Mountain but it seems you already know your way around, _Doctor_ ," she says icily as she slides into the chair across from the brunette. “I’m assuming you did your homework and know who I am, since you clearly said my name in the gateroom. I want to know who the hell you are and what the hell you’re thinking, coming here wearing that face.”


	6. Chapter 6

The interview with Colonel O'Neill is surprisingly short- Janet gets the impression that the colonel wants to believe her story, and he leaves after 15 minutes of questioning. So she sits and she waits- she can vaguely hear movements in the hallway but the walls and doors of the base are so thick that she can't make out any words, but what she does recognize is Sam's voice.

_Oh Sam, I'm so sorry my love_ , she thinks sadly, forcing herself not to start crying as the last image of her wife flashes through her minds eye, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head. _At least it was quick_.

She's jerked out of her thoughts by the sound of the door opening and closing, followed by angry footsteps. She looks up and feels her breath catch as she looks into the blue eyes she fell in love with eleven years ago. She opens her mouth to speak, but Sam beats her to it.

“I would say welcome to the Mountain but it seems you already know your way around, Doctor. I’m assuming you did your homework and know who I am, since you clearly said my name in the gateroom. I want to know who the hell you are and what the hell you’re thinking, coming here wearing that face.”

Janet's heart sinks as she once again sees the anger and distrust lurking in those normally loving blue eyes.

"Sam...." She says again, wanting nothing more than to convince the woman in front of her of her identity.

"Don't you 'Sam' me! I want the truth!"

Janet frowns. Clearly trying to appeal to her soft side is not going to work.

"Well if you would shut up and listen like the good soldier I know you are, you might damn well get it!" she snaps back. Janet pauses, waiting to see if Sam will snap back, but the other woman seems a little taken back at the petite doctor's outburst. "That's better. Now, I have had one hell of a shitty day, so you better listen closely because I am not in the mood to repeat myself."

The doctor takes a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves after the stressful day she's had.

"I am Doctor Janet Claire Fraiser-Carter, and the woman next door is o- my daughter, Alexandra Elizabeth Carter-Fraiser. I don't know what your Janet is to you, but my Sam.... She was my everything. And she gave up her life to get Alex, Kawalsky, and myself through the gate. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she sent us to another reality on purpose, knowing her." She chuckles softly- her wife had never failed to protect her family.

“Janet Fraiser died five years ago. I watched her die and for you to sit here and say you’re her . . . it’s an affront to her memory.”

Janet sighed at the news that this reality's version of her is gone, rubbing her temples lightly before speaking.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Sam. You're right, I'm not her. I don't have memories of her experiences during her live here. But I am still Janet Fraiser... I'm just not the one you know. Just like you aren't my wife."

“You were married . . . Clearly you’ve gotten your story correct and done your research right so far but you didn’t quite get everything right,” Sam says.  “My wife and I had a daughter, yes, but her name was Cassandra, not Alex and she certainly wasn’t a goa’uld. Too bad you messed that up.”

Janet throws her hands up in frustration. "Clearly not everything that happened to your Janet happened to me,I don't know what else you want from me. And she's Tok'ra. Surely you know about them. Or is Jacob not implanted with Selmak here?"

“Yes, I know about the Tok’ra,” Sam replies. “Jacob does carry Selmak but that means nothing to me. You’vedone your research.”

Janet slumps back in her chair, the adrenaline rush from her earlier outburst running out and she can feel the exhaustion and stress of the day's events catch up to her. Tears prick at her eyes as she rubs her face with her hands tiredly. Suddenly she laughs softly. She's not sure if it's the exhaustion or maybe after all the years of working on the base she's finally cracking.

"Remember our honeymoon?" She asks, forgetting herself for a moment. "You wanted to plan it. You _insisted_ on it, as well as insisting on keeping your plans in total secret. It took everything i had to get you to even tell me what the climate would be so I could at least pack!" She shakes her head, her eyes glazing over slightly as the events of their honeymoon played through her mind. "You took me to Alaska. We had a small cabin in the middle of nowhere all to ourselves for two weeks. When we got to the cabin, you had had someone come in before we arrived, because there was a fire going in the hearth, and gods the roses! I had never seen so many roses in my life, the cabin was basically bursting with them. You admitted that you wanted more roses, but the flower shop cut you off. We got rid of most of them before we left, we couldn't have possibly have taken them home. But we each picked a rose and decided to press them. I keep... Kept mine in a book of artwork by Vincent Van Gogh that you gave me on our first Christmas together. You trimmed the stem on yours and kept the flower in the moleskin journal you carry with you at all times. You said that you wanted to keep me close, no matter if you were on or off world...."

By the time Janet's voice trails off, there are tears running down her face, unable to keep her emotions at bay anymore; she misses her wife.

“Janet. “ Sam’s voice is quiet and her tears match Janet’s. “Oh my god . . . it’s really you.”


	7. Chapter 7

Her eyes burn with tears as she listens to a memory that research couldn’t possibly provide. As Janet speaks - each word like a jolt of life to a heart long thought dead - Sam’s hand drifts to the side pocket of her BDU pants and trace the outline of the worn moleskin journal that’s resided there for years, serving as both heartbreak and a reminder. Tears fall unheeded as Janet’s voice trails off and Sam, uncaring of her own tears, pulls the journal from her pocket and sets it gingerly on the table between them. Her voice is soft and broken as she whispers, “. . . It’s really you.”

She’s not sure what to do with herself now, not sure if she’s irrevocably damaged the relationship with her unyielding skepticism or if she should stand and crush the smaller woman in hug, though she knows what she wants to do. After a moment of struggling with her indecision, Sam rises to her feet and steps around the table, kneeling in front of Janet so she can stare up at her face.

“I’m so sorry I doubted you,” she whispers, gripping the edge of the table with one hand as the other lifts and then falls back against her leg. “I’m so sorry, Janet.”

"You've always been stubborn. Better to be safe than sorry," the doctor replied lightly. Sam laughs weakly and shakes her head, finally letting her free hand reach up and cover Janet’s.

“It’s too good to be true, you know?” She grips Janet’s hand tightly and swallows hard, her heart slamming against her ribcage as she shakes her head. “I never thought . . . I never thought I’d see you again and suddenly here you are in the flesh, alive and just as smart-mouthed as ever.”

She has the brief thought that Cassie’s watching in the observation room and is ready to stand and go get the young woman when she stops herself and looks up at Janet intently. ‘ _She just lost her wife not two hours ago_ ,’ she reminds herself, her heart breaking at the thought of Janet going through any of the pain she herself went through. ‘ _Go slowly_.’

“I, uh, I have someone who’d probably really like to see you now that she knows this isn’t a trick,” she says, jerking her head gently toward the observation window where Cassie’s been watching. “I’ll get her in a few minutes but I should probably warn you that Cassie lost her mother five years ago and she’s probably going to be a little emotional.”

Janet nods. "I understand... But first I'd like to see Alex."

Sam grimaces at the mention of the other woman and bites her lip. “Well, actually, about that . . . I should probably tell you, before you see her and whatnot, that I wasn’t exactly the nicest person when I spoke to her. I was actually kind of . . . bitchy.”

The doctor raises an eyebrow at Sam's comment. "What exactly did you say to her?" She asks, her voice getting dangerously low.

‘ _Shit, shit, shit_ ,’ Sam thinks, sighing as she rocks back on her heels and pulls her hand from on top of Janet’s to run over her face.

“I spoke to the symbiote-"

"Jalesh."

“Yeah, her. I spoke to Jalesh for most of the conversation and expressed my intense disbelief in her story. Jolinar’s memories sort of confirmed what she was saying but I wasn’t nice when I told her that it was all too convenient and that I was pretty sure she was a goa’uld.”

"YOU CALLED MY DAUGHTER A GOA'ULD!?" Janet asked furiously, immediately standing up. "I need to see her NOW. She just lost her mother for christ's sake!"

“Hey, what would _you_ think in my situation?! You know how ruthless the goa’uld are, Janet, you know what they’re capable of! I couldn’t be sure that this woman wearing a fucking goa’uld queen’s garb wasn’t trying to destroy my world!” Sam’s voice rises with each word until she’s nearly yelling. Taking a breath to calm herself, she shakes her head. “I’m sorry but I couldn’t be sure we weren’t being tricked.”

She stands and takes a step back, running her hand through the braid that’s come loose during the day, her eyes shifting from Janet’s angry expression to the observation room. Biting her lip again - now she realizes why the action looked so familiar coming from Alex - and squinting slightly, Sam drops her hand and moves to the phone on the wall.

“I need Hammond,” she says, watching Janet pace furiously. She’s both startled by the intensity on the smaller woman’s face and the anger she sees, though she knows she deserves it. When Hammond answers, Sam speaks quietly. “It’s true, General, every word. Doctor Fraiser confirmed it and I’m going to take her to see her daughter before I escort the three arrivals to their quarters for the night.”

“See that you don’t cause anymore incidents, Colonel,” Hammond says and Sam’s suitably chastened.

“Yes sir.” When she hangs up the phone and turns back to Janet, she’s surprised to see the other woman’s moved closer. Swallowing hard, Sam backs up a step and smiles weakly. “General Hammond approved so I’ll take you to Alex now.”

Janet's eyes are still hard as she nods, briskly walking past Sam and out of the room, clearly knowing where she's going. Sam trails along behind her, stopping briefly to spring Kawalsky from his room.

"ABOUT TIME SOMEONE LETS ME OUT" Kawalsky grumps, making Sam blush and stare at her feet. Janet rolls her eyes, clearly impatient to be allowed through the SFs guarding the room her daughter is in. Sam waves her hand and the airmen shift, letting Janet through the door to see her daughter.


	8. Chapter 8

Janet is at her daughter’s side in seconds, the doctor in her immediately scanning Alex for any physical injury.

“Jalesh?” she asks softly, assuming from her daughter’s posture and the death glare that is being thrown out the door at Sam, that Jalesh is in control for the moment.

“Yes Janet,” she says, nodding once. “Alexandra is unable to come forward at the moment.”

A scarily feral growl escapes Janet’s lips. “Tell me.”

“She is not presently in control of her emotions,” Jalesh replies with a sigh. “She became emotional when she realized that her mother meant to send us here and she has yet to regain stability.” She glances out the door. “Being interrogated did not help.”

Janet sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose as she shakes her head. “Today has not been a fun day, has it Ja?”

“No, it certainly has not.” She winces slightly and shrugs. “I am not unused to Alexandra’s emotions but these are particularly strong. Perhaps you could help in some way?”

“Let me talk to her,” Janet says, nodding and taking ahold of her daughter’s hand.

“Mom?” Alex’s lower lip trembles when she looks up again. “Oh god, Mom, I tried but she w-wouldn’t - and I can’t - and Mama -”

Immediately Janet pulls her daughter to her and they end up sitting on the floor, Janet cradling her daughter as she cries into her shoulder, Janet’s own tears running into her daughter’s hair. Her heart breaks into a million pieces as she feels Alex’s harsh shuddering as she sobs, the emotional trauma of the day proving to be too much for the young woman. It was one of her worst nightmares as a parent- that one day their dangerous jobs would get the best of them, and Alex would be left without one or both of her mother’s. And now, not only is her wife, her life, her soul mate gone… but so is her entire planet. All she has of her wife, of her life back in her reality, is her daughter. “I know babydoll,” she whispers through her own soft sobs, “I know. Let it all out Alex, I’ve got you.”

She doesn’t know how long they sit there on the floor, in the Stargate Command that’s on an Earth that’s in an entirely different reality. It doesn’t matter how long they sit there. The only thing that matters in the entire universe to Dr. Janet Fraiser is that her baby girl, her only child, her only piece of her Samantha Carter she has left, is protected and loved and cared for.

Janet runs her hands through her daughter’s blonde curly hair, smiling a little as she feels her finally relax against her, sniffling softly. “Feel better?” she asks softly, offering her daughter a small smile, and digging into her pocket for a packet of tissues that she always has on hand.

“Not really,” Alex sniffles, taking the tissue and wiping her eyes. “I don’t understand why she sent us here, Mom. Why’d she do it, knowing she was supposed to send us to the beta site?”

Janet sighs and shakes her head. “I don’t know Alex,” she replies, sifting through the events of the last 24 hours, trying to think of some reason Sam would have done this. “Perhaps… perhaps she thought we would be safer if she managed to get us somewhere safe from the goa’uld. And you know how your Mama lik-liked to show off.”

“I don’t want to be here,” Alex says gruffly. “It’s clear we’re not welcome or wanted and I’d rather be goa’uld bait than sit here and have to deal with _her_.”

Janet frowns as she gently brushes Alex’s hair out of her face, unable to blame her daughter for feeling this way. “I’m not really sure we have much of a choice,” she murmurs, “ _She_ had good reason to be suspicious Alex. They had no way of knowing if you were Tok’ra or not. And…” Janet bites her lip, wondering if she has any right to share what she had learned during her conversation with Sam. “And… they lost their Janet five years ago. I’m dead in this reality babydoll. And… and she was married to her.”

“I don’t care, Mom. She was a frigid bitch who wouldn’t listen to anything,” Alex snaps and then slams her mouth shut. “I’m sorry she lost her Janet but that doesn’t mean she gets to be a total Ice Maiden.” Alex tightens her grip on her mother and presses her face into Janet’s neck. “I don’t want to be here, Mom. She has Mama’s face but it’s not her.”

“She’s going to get hell from me for the way she treated you,” Janet assures her daughter, sending her own death glare at Sam, who surprisingly enough is still hanging out. She must feel guilty. It’s all she can do to not sob at her daughter’s last sentence. “I know baby, I know. I don’t like it either.” She sighs softly. “You have to remember that she’s hurting just as much as we are. I doubt she’s enjoying this any more than we are.”

“Yeah? Well she could’ve fooled me.” Alex shudders with the emotion of the day and rubs her cheek against Janet’s shoulder. “Jalesh wants me to tell you that Selmak’s gonna confirm everything we’ve told the Ice Queen. Jalesh also wants me to tell you that she’s sorry for almost getting us shot by this version of Grandpa George.”

Janet nods, before her eyes go wide and she pulls back to look her daughter in the eyes. “YOU ALMOST WHAT?”

“Yep, she decided that she’d take control and try to talk to Grandpa George first. I didn’t think an old guy could move that fast,” Alex says and lets her head drop forward. When she lifts it again, Jalesh is smiling sheepishly. “It was an honest misunderstanding, Janet.”

Janet shakes her head and tuts softly. “I don’t want to know. Just as long as I don’t have to dig a bullet out of you, then I don’t want to know.” The doctor sighs, noticing the soreness in her legs and glutes from sitting on the floor for such a long time. “Come on Alex, let’s get up. They’re providing quarters for us.”

“Can I stay in yours with you?” The young woman changes with Jalesh and bites her lip as she pulls away from her mother. “I mean, I know I’m an adult and all but-”

Janet holds up her hand. “Of course you may,” she says as she stands up, groaning a little bit as the circulation returns to her legs, holding out a hand to her daughter and helping her up, before pulling her into her arms once more, just silently hugging her. “I love you babydoll. We’re going to be ok. I promise.”

“I love you too, Mom.” Alex holds onto Janet tightly, squeezing her eyes shut. “You can’t promise that but I appreciate the sentiment.”

Janet chuckles and places a kiss on the side of her daughter’s head. “Too wise for your years babydoll.”

“You can literally thank Jalesh for that, actually.”

“Come on my little smart ass. Let’s get some rest, I think we deserve it.”


	9. Chapter 9

Sam’s attention is torn between the scene inside the interrogation room and the dirty glare Kawalsky is sending her from his spot opposite her in the hallway. She listens to Janet and Jalesh with interest, though once Alex comes forward and the two women start to cry, Sam stares at her feet. She’s not given much time to think about what’s going on before a harsh voice pulls her eyes from her boots to the man glaring at her.

“Are you proud of yourself?”

Sam lifts her chin defiantly, narrowing her eyes as she says, “I don’t know what you mean, Major Kawalsky.”

“Alex and Janet just lost everything and you’re too busy being a bitch to realize it,” he replies, returning her anger. “You have no idea what Janet just went through, Colonel Carter. She just watched her wife make the ultimate sacrifice and watched Alex’s mother die. You couldn’t, for one second, be _nice_?”

“I couldn’t be sure you all weren’t goa’uld trying to take over the SGC, damn it!” Sam huffs and turns away from the angry man, planting her hands on her hips and growling. “How the hell would you feel if a goa’uld queen and two dead officers came flying through your gate?”

That quiets Kawalsky and Sam has a split moment to feel bad for the abrupt way she’s let him know his counterpart here is dead before there’s movement from the interrogation room. She watches silently as Janet pulls Alex up from the floor and hugs her, their voices soft as they speak quietly. When they pull away and turn to face the door, Sam forces herself to make eye contact with Janet and waves a hand away from herself.

“You know where the quarters are but General Hammond asked that I escort you,” she says.

“I understand, Colonel,” Janet replies steadily, not breaking eye contact with Sam. Alternate reality version of her wife or not, Sam upset Alex and Janet is clearly not happy. Sam winces and steps back to let the three guests move past her. Alex glares angrily as she passes, Kawalsky seems livid, and Janet is expressionless - never a good sign.

The walk to the quarters is silent and Sam’s not at all surprised that Janet and Alex choose to share a room. Kawalsky takes the room to their right and waits until the women are safely in their quarters before he looks at Sam and shakes his head. The door slamming behind him makes her jump and she feels so utterly lost that she’s not sure what to do with herself. She’s made a mess of things, she knows, but she doesn’t regret her suspicion, just the way it manifested.

“Stand guard and let no one but myself, the General, and SG-1 in,” she orders the SFs that arrive. Satisfied for a moment that the guests are suitably taken care of and situated, Sam heads to the elevator so she can go back and talk to Cassie. Running a shaky hand down her face, she stares at the shiny metal doors and wishes, not for the first time, that her Janet was still alive because she desperately needs someone to talk to who isn’t furious with her. When she enters the elevator, she waits until the doors shut and then slumps heavily against the wall.

‘ _This is a fucking nightmare_ ,’ she thinks, feeling the burn of tears. ‘ _It’s her and it’s not. I watched her die five years ago and now she’s here and absolutely hates me._ ’ Looking at the top of the elevator, she blinks back the tears and huffs a quiet laugh. ‘ _You’d get a kick out of this, wouldn’t you? I don’t know what to do, Janet_.’

She remembers her wife’s laughter and for a moment, it’s like she’s in the small elevator with her. Closing her eyes, she smiles faintly and works to calm herself down, knowing that getting emotional - well, more than she already is - isn’t going to help. When the doors ding open and Daniel enters, Sam’s gotten herself more or less under control.

“Hey Sam,” Daniel says, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he looks at her with a sympathetic expression. “How’re you holding up?”

“About as well as can be expected.” Sam shrugs and shoves her hands into her pockets. “It’s weird, Daniel. It’s definitely Janet and Kawalsky and I think if it was just them, I’d be able to understand. But Alex . . . that’s my - that’s Janet’s daughter with her wife. Sam. Like, they were married in the other reality and had a kid and that’s her. And to make things even weirder, she’s got a Tok’ra symbiote.”

“Oh man.” Daniel’s eyebrows threaten to disappear into his hair and the sight, so familiar after such a crazy, hectic afternoon, makes Sam smile. “I don’t even know where to start with that, Sam.”

“Neither do I, hence my struggle. I made Janet mad because I interrogated her daughter and called her a goa’uld,” she winces, though Daniel shrugs.

“I’d have made the same assumption, considering how she came through the gate.”

“That makes me feel better,” Sam admits, running her fingers through what was once her braid and is now just a ponytail. “And Cassie’s here - she watched the whole thing. So she knows that some version of her mother is alive but that she’s got another kid and I have to go talk to her now because if _I’m_ having a hard time, I can only imagine what Cass is going through.”

Daniel’s hand is warm and grounding when he squeezes Sam’s shoulder and says, “If you ever need to talk, Sam, my door is still open, you know that.”

“I’ll remember that, Daniel. Thanks.” Sam smiles over her shoulder as the elevator dings its arrival at her floor and she squeezes Daniel’s hand thankfully. She exits and slowly makes her way back to the observation room she left Cassie in, trying to prepare herself for the conversation she’s about to have with _her_ daughter.


	10. Chapter 10

She sits in the observation room, her brow furrowed as she watches her Mama talk to the woman who looks like her Mom. It’s strange to see them interact this way, as they had never done so when their Janet was alive. It was strange to hear her mom talk about having another daughter, like Cassie never existed. Well, she mused, I guess to her I don’t exist.

She feels her jaw slowly drop open as Janet retells her memory. Everyone knew about how Sam had surprised Janet with all of the flowers. What Cassie didn’t know is that they each had kept a flower. It was a touching memory and Cassie feels tears stream down her cheeks, especially when her Mama pulls out her moleskin journal. Her lower lip starts to quiver as she watches Sam kneel in front of Janet, her mama having done that to her mom hundreds of times while their Janet was alive; it was a familiar, yet sorely missed scene.

She roughly wipes at her eyes, momentarily glad she had been too lazy to bother with putting on makeup earlier in the day, as her mama mentions her. Her heart starts to race at the idea of actually seeing her mother face to face, to touch her, to hear her voice, and to smell her perfume for the first time in five years. It was the sort of yearning she had had for months and months after her Mom’s death, but slowly but surely that constant yearning for her Mom dulled, became more manageable, but now at the sight of her Mom, alive and well, that yearning came back in full force, leaving Cassie breathless.

However, the conversation turns back to Alex, this Janet’s daughter, and Cassie feels her heart sink as they seem to completely forget about her, rushing out of the room. Cassie can hear them in the hallway, but is too disappointed to get up. Instead she stares into the empty interrogation room, the seemingly endless stream of tears flowing down her face as she thinks over what she witnessed. Her mom, alive and well, normally in half doctor mode and half mother mode all the time, the woman who always seemed to have Cassie’s wellbeing as a priority lurking around in her mind, has no interest in her. No interest in meeting her whatsoever. No, all she cares about is Alex. A part of her knows it's illogical to be mad; this Janet is simply treating Alex like their Janet had always treated Cassie. But to Cassie’s mourning heart, it feels a little like a betrayal. Cassie can’t help but dislike Alex even more. They say she’s Tok’ra, but how can we ever be totally sure?

At some point, Cassie is jolted out of her thoughts by the sound of the door opening, automatically wiping at her eyes, before feeling someone slump down into the chair next to her.

“I’m sorry, Cass,” Sam says softly, reaching over to take Cassie’s hand. “I’m so, _so_ sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Cassie mutters, not looking up at her Mama, but squeezing her hand gently.

“Yeah it is. I couldn’t save her on that planet and now this one . . . now this one doesn’t even know you.” Sam returns the squeeze and presses a kiss to her daughter’s temple. “I’m sorry.”

“Mama don’t say that, we both know there was nothing you could have done,” Cassie replies, trying to hold back a small sob. She bites her lip, hating how much she’s cried today. It’s been a long time since she’s cried over her Mom; it’s not an activity she particularly cares for.

“It’s the truth,” Sam sighs and lets go of Cassie’s hand to wrap her arm around her shoulder. “It’s okay to cry, baby.”

Cassie leans into her Mama, whimpering softly as she tries to stop her tears. “I hate crying about it,” she whines. “Mom wouldn’t have wanted us to cry over her.”

“Your mother would understand, sweetheart. You love her and it’s normal to cry when you lose someone you love, so I assume it’s normal to cry when someone you love comes back but isn’t the same.” She presses her cheek against Cassie’s hair and shuts her eyes.

Cassie squeezes her eyes shut as she bites her lip. “She didn’t know who I was… and she didn’t _care_.”

“No baby, it’s not that she doesn’t care,” Sam replies but stops. “She doesn’t know you, Cassie. You’re not in her reality but you’re here in mine and I love you. Don’t you ever forget that, okay? No matter what happens, _I love you_.”

Cassie nods, not really trusting her voice to be able to squeak out more than “I love you too, Mama.”

“Do you want to stay on base with me tonight? I can’t go home but you’re always welcome to stay here if you’d like.”

Cassie nods violently, knowing that she absolutely does not want to be alone tonight. Plus, there are members of the SGC she hasn’t seen in a long time. Namely Jack O’Neill. She has a feeling she'll end up finding him sometime tonight for a chat.

“Thank you Mama,” she whispers, hugging Sam tightly.

“You’re welcome, baby.” Sam hugs Cassie hard, her jaw trembling as the young woman holds her tightly. “Jack said he’ll be around whenever you get the chance to come find him.” Pressing a quick kiss to the top of Cassie’s head, Sam eases back and lifts her chin with a finger. “Don’t worry, Cassie, we’ll get through this.”

Cassie smiles a little for the first time that evening, and nods. “We always do, Mama.”

“I even heard a rumor that it’s Pasta Night in the commissary,” Sam says, wiping the tears from Cassie’s cheek. “And Daniel whispered that there’s blue jello too.”

Cassie gasps in mock shock. “By Grandpa George we can’t miss that!”


	11. Chapter 11

The first time Alex wakes up from a nightmare, she manages to keep silent. Her mother is sleeping next to her and Alex knows how much she needs her sleep so she rolls over and buries her face in the pillow, her body trembling with the pain of the last time she saw her mother. The tears stop fairly quickly but she lies awake and shakes for a few minutes before she slips back into a restless sleep, her eyes twitching constantly beneath closed lids. The second time she wakes up from a nightmare, she’s not able to catch herself and she bolts upright in the bed with a strangled scream, her heart racing and her chest aching. That nightmare was worse than the first and she can’t stop the sobs that start.

Janet is wide awake in an instant- her military training kickstarting her adrenaline for instant alertness. Her arms wrap around her daughter, one hand going into her hair, the other pulling her into her chest, making soft ‘shhh-ing’ sounds to comfort her daughter, fighting her own tears. “Let it out babydoll. You’re safe, I promise. I’ve got you babydoll.”

Alex struggles for a brief moment and then sags into her mother’s arms, her body shaking as she cries. “I lost you,” she chokes out between sobs. “I w-watched them shoot you and Mama and I couldn’t . . . there was nothing . . . “ She trails off and shudders as she cries. “I couldn’t stop them and I lost you both.”

“No no no babygirl, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” Janet hushes softly, running her fingers soothingly through her daughter’s hair. “You haven’t lost me Alex, you haven’t lost me.”

“But I lost Mama,” Alex whispers harshly, her voice cracking. “Mama’s gone and I don’t . . .” She blinks furiously, angry with herself for waking her mother and showing emotions. “I’m sorry I woke you up, Mom. I should go sleep in my own quarters.”

Janet’s heart breaks at her daughter’s words. “I know babygirl, I know.” At Alex’s next sentence she frowns and tightens her grip on her daughter. “No ma’am, don’t you dare. You know better than to apologize for something like this. Babygirl… I’m so sorry about Mama.”

“It’s not your fault.” Alex pulls away, scrubbing her eyes as she shakes her head and pulls her knees up to her chest. “I don’t want to be here in this world. I want to wake up and find it’s just been a nightmare instead of this fucking horrorshow.” She drops her forehead against her knees, squeezing her eyes shut. “I don’t want this.”

Janet gently rubs her daughter’s back, sighing softly as she listens to her daughter. “You and me both babygirl. You and me both.”

She can’t bring herself to move much but she leans into her mother’s side and silently curses whatever higher power there is that this is her life now. She’s no stranger to loss, especially not with Jalesh’s memories of lifetimes lived, but she feels stuck in a no-win scenario and it’s too much to handle. Keeping her eyes closed, she finally manages to release some of the tension in her body and lean more fully into her mother.

“What are we going to do now, Mom?”

Janet shakes her head before pressing a kiss into her daughter’s hair. “I wish I could tell you babydoll. I…. I don’t think we have the option of going to another reality.”

“We could always try to find Uncle Daniel’s quantum mirror,” she says quietly, her eyes filling with tears again. “We could find a reality where Mama’s still alive and actually loves us.”

“Even on the slim chance we found a way to use it, if we found a reality like that, more than likely she would have her own Janet and Alex to love. So then what? We would try and find a world where Mama doesn’t have her Janet or her Alex? Or where none of us exist at all?” Janet asks gently, trying to get her daughter to see how pointless it would be.

“We could find one where she’s not a cold, frigid bitch,” Alex mutters under her breath.

“I heard that young lady,” Janet warns gently. “I know it wasn’t the most ideal welcome, but you can’t blame her for being suspicious. No,” she adds as she sees her daughter about to speak up, “that does NOT excuse her behavior towards you. But nonetheless, I doubt had someone similar come through our gate we would have been much kinder.”

“She called me a goa’uld, Mom!” Alex is indignant now, her anger flaring. “A fucking goa’uld. She wouldn’t listen to reason and even when Jalesh talked to her and told her about her connection to Jolinar, she wouldn’t listen.” She wipes at the tears that form again, growing angrier with each passing moment. “She wouldn’t listen and she wouldn’t believe us and I don’t want to be around the bitch again.” Alex slips out of her mother’s arms and turns away, wrapping her own arms around her middle as she stares at the wall.

Janet scrubs at her face as her daughter pulls away, her initial adrenaline rush now crashing. “Jalesh, a little help please?” she murmurs, knowing Jalesh will hear her just fine. Alex’s head dips forward and she stiffens.

‘ _You are being unreasonable, Alexandra_.’

‘ _I don’t care_.’

‘ _You do realize that you are not the only person in this room who has lost someone important, right_?’

‘ _I appreciate your attempt to shrink me but I said I don’t care. I don’t want to talk about it._ ’

‘ _Have you considered how much your actions are hurting your mother? Janet has lost her wife and you are acting as though only you are affected by the loss of Samantha Carter_.’

‘ _I don’t want to talk about this, Jalesh. Shut up and leave me alone._ ’

‘ _I understand you are hurting, Alexandra, but look at your mother. Do you see her pain? That is your doing._ ’

‘ _Shut UP_!’ Alex stands quickly, blocking out her symbiote as she takes a few steps from the bed and presses her clenched fists to her temple. ‘ _I said I don’t want to talk about this_!’ When she looks over at her mother, though, her breath catches as Jalesh allows her to see from her perspective and Alex is suddenly deeply ashamed of her behavior. “Mom . . .”

“Alex?” Janet asks as her daughter stands quickly, watching her carefully as she walks away. It's clear that a strong conversation is happening between Alex and her symbiote. Suddenly her daughter’s posture changes as she looks at Janet. The doctor stands up and moves to her daughter, hugging her gently. “I love you Alex.”

“I’m so sorry,” Alex whispers, wrapping her arms around her mother and holding her as tightly as she can muster. “I’m being such a bitch and you’re hurting too. I’m so sorry, Mom.”

“It’s ok babydoll, it’s ok. You’re hurting, it’s only natural,” Janet says, pressing soft kisses into her daughter’s hair.

“That doesn’t mean I get to do my best Ice Maiden impression,” she grunts as she closes her eyes. “Jalesh made me realize what a bitch I’ve been and I’m sorry it came to that.”

“Well, you’ve seen the error of your ways now, so no more Ice Maiden impressions, ok?” asks Janet, chuckling softly as she brushes her daughter’s hair out of her eyes. Alex nods and leans forward enough to rest her forehead against her mother’s.

“I don’t know how to do this, how to handle this, but I promise I won’t be so nasty again,” she whispers.

Janet plays with one of Alex’s curls as she speaks. “Talking tends to help. You don’t have to talk to me, you don’t have to talk to Jalesh, you don’t even have to talk to Kawalsky. But you need to talk to someone Alex.”

“There’s no one but you three who could even understand what I’m going through,” she sighs. “I mean, no one here even knows who I am because of all the universes we had to fall into, it had to be one where I don’t even exist.” She sighs again, a little more heavily this time. “I just have you and Uncle Charles and the voice inside my head that likes to take over my body.”

‘ _It is a very unfortunate situation for both of us_.’

‘ _Shut up, Jalesh, I’m trying to be nice_.’

‘ _We will certainly have to work on that, then_.’

Janet bites her lip. “Well… there actually might be someone else who understands…”

“Yeah, right, like there’s someone who understands not existing to the person who’s wearing your mother’s face,” she scoffs, closing her eyes as she sighs. “It’s a shitty feeling, Mom.”

“Alex…. I should have mentioned this earlier,” Janet starts, biting her lip a little nervously, knowing that there was no good time to tell her daughter this. “But… Well, the Sam and Janet here… they had a daughter. She’s an alien that was abandoned on a planet they visited. Her name is Cassandra.”

Alex pulls back and stares at her mother in shock, her eyes wide and her jack slack. “There’s no me but they’ve _got a different daughter_?!” She swallows hard and takes a deep breath, her mind skipping from one thought to another and before she can help it, she’s starting to laugh. “The universe has a truly fucked up sense of humor.”

“Language, Alexandra!”

‘ _Language, Alexandra_!’


End file.
